Today I opened my front door, … wide open and set my AR-15 (NOT an “assault rifle”, although people are calling them that) right in the doorway. I placed a full 30 cartridge magazine beside it, and, call me irresponsible, but noticing it had no legs, I then set it on my mom’s old wheelchair to help it get around.
I then left it alone and went about my business. While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a neighbor lady walked her dog down the street after sending her daughter off to school, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house.
After a couple of hours, hearing no disturbance, I checked on the gun.
It was still setting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it. It hadn’t rolled itself outside. It certainly hadn’t killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn’t even loaded itself. I realized it had no opposable thumbs, so I inserted the magazine and then continued doing a few more errands …
Well you can imagine my surprise, when I returned again and with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people found it still there … watching peacefully, as the world passed by, … within range.
Either the media is wrong, and it’s the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I’m in possession of the laziest gun in the world.
Alright, well …. I’m off to check on my spoons. I hear they’re making people fat.
